Raiders Song Parodies

[Willmark]

Raiders Rhapsody
(Parody lyrics by Willmark, with apologies to Queen)

Is this the real Raiders? Is this just football fantasy?
Caught in another blowout, no escape from mediocrity
Open your eyes, look up to Ghost to the Post and see,
I'm just a poor fan, I need no more company
Because losses are easy come, easy go, visitors high, Raiders low-
Any way the Autumn Wind blows
Doesn't really matter to me… to me

Mama, just benched a man,
Put silver and black on his head - now his career is all but dead
Mama, strife had just begun,
But Carr’s gone and thrown it all away.
Mama (ooh), didn't mean to love the bye -
If I'm not watching again this game tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on... Raiders never really matters

Too late - over-time has come
Sends stomach aches down my spine, Raider pain all the time.
Goodbye, Raider Nation, this “team’s” gotta go
Gotta leave these loses behind and face the truth.
Mama, ooh (oh- Any way the Autumn Wind blows),
I don't wanna...lie
I sometimes wish I'd never been a Raiders fan at all

I see a little silhouetto of a game plan -
Latest coach, latest coach, will he last the season-oh?
Lyle Alzado - very, very frightening!
(Jim Otto) Jim Otto, (Jim Otto) Jim Otto, Otto snap the ballo
Magnifico (Oh-oh-oh-oh!)
I'm just a poor QB, nobody loves me,
He's just a poor QB from a poor franchisee,
Spare him his fandom from this monstrosity!
Loses come, wins go - will you let me go?
George Blanda! No, we will not let you go! (Let him go!)
George Blanda! We will not let you go! (Let him go!)
George Blanda! We will not let you go! (Let me go!)
Will not let you go! (Let me go!)
Never, never, never, never, never, never let me go! (Let him go!)
Oh-oh-oh-oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh, Madden Boom!, Madden Boom! (Madden Boom! let me go)
Al Davis has a devil put aside for me... for me... for me!

So you think you can stop my Sunday and deceive my eye?
So you think you can make me believe - then leave me to die?
Oh, Raiders! Can't do this to me, Raiders!
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!

Football really matters - win’s we’ll never see
Football really matters...
Football doesn’t matters, to this team.
Any way the Autumn Wind blows...

[Willmark]

This is awesome, I'm trying to sing this to my wife( I can't sing).

We were crying laughing!!!!
Thx willmark

It’s about all we can do with the decades of utter crap this franchise has given us: laugh

Oh and I’m with you. My wife says I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. She is correct.

[Oaktown Superman]

Hotel raiderfornia.
Any ACDC song would be good too
And Metallica

AC/DC has a Raiders song already. Highway to hell…

[raiders93]

Funny part? I was trying to work on something else and my muse led me here. Just go with it I guess.

Debating running this through ChatGPT to see if it can make this a thing

[Willmark]

Debating running this through ChatGPT to see if it can make this a thing

Huh?

[Willmark]

Hotel Raiderfornia
(Parody lyrics by Willmark, with apologies to The Eagles)

On a dark Vegas highway,
Cool wind in a Raiderette’s hair,
Warm smell of losses drifting
Up through the desert air.
Up ahead in the distance,
I saw a shimmering blight—
My jersey grew heavy, my hope grew dim,
I had to stop praying for Monday night.

There Amy Trask stood in the doorway,
I heard the Autumn Wind yell,
And I was thinkin' to myself
"Doubt it’s Raider Heaven - more likely Raider Hell"
Princess of Darkness lit Al’s candle
And she showed me the way
Fired coaches’ voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say-

Welcome to the Hotel Raiderfornia,
Such a hopeless place (Such a hopeless place!)
Such a hopeless face.
Plenty of room at the Hotel Raiderfornia,
Any time of year (losses any time of year!)
You can lose your faith right here.

Her mind is Al Davis-twisted
Oh course, we lost at Mercedes Benz, (uh).
She hired a lot of water, water boys
That she calls “friends.”
How fans dance in the Marriott courtyard,
Sweet summer (camp) sweat -
Some fans drink to remember
Some fans drink to forget

So I called up the captain,
“Please bring way too much wine.”
He said, “We haven’t had a team that good
Since nineteen sixty-nine.”
And still those teams- 1970s callin’
From far away-
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Raiderfornia,
Such a hopeless place (Such a hopeless place!)
Such a hopeless face.
Plenty of room at the Hotel Raiderfornia,
Any time of year (losses any time of year!)
You can lose your faith right here - bring your alibis

Scoreboards on the ceiling,
Opponents have the game on ice.
And she said, “Fans are all just prisoners here,
Of our own device.”
And in Mark Davis’ cathedral,
Fans gathered here at least;
They stab overpriced food with their steely knives,
But they just can’t afford the feast.

Last thing I remember,
A running back headed for the door.
He had to run the football back,
To the fandom where I was before.
“Relax,” said the lineman,
“DVR is programmed - WRs don’t receive.
You can check out of the Raiders any time you like,
But you can never leave.”

[Willmark]

Hotel raiderfornia.

Done.

[Willmark]

Unfortunately
(Parody lyrics by Willmark with apologies to Journey)

Playoff run, into the midnight fun,
Losses go ’round and ’round, always on my mind.
Restless stomachs, sleep ill at ease tonight,
Sendin’ all my hopes along the wire.
They say the road ain’t no place to start a streak,
Right down the line, it’s been the Raiders and me.
And’ rootin’ for a football team ain’t what it’s supposed to be.
Oh, Raiders, you never stand by me —
I’m forever yours… unfortunately.

Circus life, that’s the Raiders’ world,
A team of clowns just here to make us cry.
Through game-day time, there’s always another loss,
Wonderin’ where the wins are, how ’bout you?

And bein’ a fan of this team ain’t easy, surely no love affair.
Team of strangers, learn to win again?
They get the joy of rediscoverin’ you.
Oh, Raider joy, you elude me…
I’m forever yours… unfortunately.

Whoa-oh, oh-oh,
Whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh,
Whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh,
Unfortunately…
I’m still yours,
I’m forever yours,
Ever yours…
Unfortunately.

[Reno Hightower]

How about this one...

[Willmark]

How about this one...

I’ve got the eight locked in. Saving it for December. Doing a full concept album (of futility) and “releasing” it to social media around that time because we should be well and truly done by then.

As in legendarily bad.

[raiderboyron]

Willmark. Use Tower of Power.
"We're bad bad bad bad bad on the turf again"!

[raider_kin]

Hotel Raiderfornia
(Parody lyrics by Willmark, with apologies to The Eagles)

On a dark Las Vegas highway,
Cool wind in a Raiderette’s hair,
Warm smell of losses drifting
Up through the desert air.
Up ahead in the distance,
I saw a shimmering blight—
My jersey grew heavy, my hope grew dim,
I had to stop praying for Monday night.

There Amy Trask stood in the doorway,
I heard the Autumn Wind yell,
And I was thinkin' to myself
"Doubt it’s Raider Heaven - more likely Raider Hell"
Princess of Darkness lit Al’s candle
And she showed me the way
Fired coaches’ voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say-

Welcome to the Hotel Raiderfornia,
Such a hopeless place (Such a hopeless place!)
Such a hopeless face.
Plenty of room at the Hotel Raiderfornia,
Any time of year (losses any time of year!)
You can lose your faith right here.

Her mind is Al Davis-twisted
Oh course, we lost at Mercedes Benz, (uh).
She hired a lot of water, water boys
That she calls “friends.”
How fans dance in the Marriott courtyard,
Sweet summer (camp) sweat -
Some fans drink to remember
Some fans drink to forget

So I called up the captain,
“Please bring way too much wine.”
He said, “We haven’t had a team that good
Since nineteen sixty-nine.”
And still those teams- 1970s callin’
From far away-
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel Raiderfornia,
Such a hopeless place (Such a hopeless place!)
Such a hopeless face.
Plenty of room at the Hotel Raiderfornia,
Any time of year (losses any time of year!)
You can lose your faith right here - bring your alibis

Scoreboards on the ceiling,
Opponents have the game on ice.
And she said, “Fans are all just prisoners here,
Of our own device.”
And in Mark Davis’ cathedral,
The fans gathered here at least;
They stab overpriced food with their steely knives,
But they just can’t afford the feast.

Last thing I remember,
There was a running back headed for the door.
He had to run the football back,
To the fandom where I was before.
“Relax,” said the lineman,
“DVR is programmed - but WRs don’t receive.
You can check out of the Raiders any time you like,
But you can never leave.”

Brilliant and fun
I hope you don't mind Wilmark, cuz you have talent I couldn't dream of, but if you take "Las" out of the first line the meter* will be right.
*or cadence or tempo however you say it.

[Attyla]

Play That Funky Music might be fun

[Willmark]

Hutt One, Hutt Two-Ya (The Raiders Hallelujah)
(Parody lyrics by Willmark, with apologies to Leonard Cohen)

I've heard there was a win to hoard,
That Al Davis meddled and broke accord.
But you don't really care for football, do ya?
The quarters go like this - the fourth, not fifth,
The Raiders fall, the coverage shifts
The baffled owner calling "Hut one, hut two-ya."

Hut one, hut two-ya...
Hut one, hut two-ya…
Hut one, hut two-ya...

Your faith was strong, but fans need proof,
You saw the Raiders losing under the roof,
Every Raider quarterback over-threw ya.
Your fandom tied you to that chair
Loss by loss you pulled your hair
And from his lips the QB barked "Hut one, hut two-ya."

Hut one, hut two-ya...
Hut one, hut two-ya…
Hut one, hut two-ya...

Maybe there's a Lombardi above,
But all I've ever learned from Jordan Love.
Was how to draft a QB who out-threw ya,
And it's not a cry that you hear at night,
It's not the glow of Al Davis light,
It's a cold and it's a broken "Hut one, hut two-ya."

Hut one, hut two-ya...
Hut one, hut two-ya…
Hut one, hut two-ya...

Baby, “Just Win” I've heard before,
I know this field, I've walked this floor -
I used to live for the Raiders before I knew ya.
I've seen that silver flag on the arch
But losing is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken "Hut one, hut two-ya."

Hut one, hut two-ya...
Hut one, hut two-ya…
Hut one, hut two-ya...

There was a time we used to win—
At least I think, but see below,
Now every Sunday’s déjà-vu-ya.
I remember when I cheered for you,
The Raiders were once moving too,
And every breath we drew was "Hut one, hut two-ya."

Hut one, hut two-ya...
Hut one, hut two-ya…
Hut one, hut two-ya...

I did my best, watched way too much,
I couldn't feel, so I blocked The Tuck.
I've told the truth - the Raiders come to fool ya
And even though offense’s wrong
I’ll stand before Phil Villapiano, strong,
With nothing in my voice but "Hut one, hut two-ya."

Hut one, hut two-ya...
Hut one, hut two-ya…
Hut one, hut two-ya...

You say I took old Madden’s name in vain,
I don't even know the play, or that game.
But if we did – well, fans are right - what's it to ya?
There's a blitz of night in every word
It doesn't matter what the Chargers heard
The Holy Roller or broken "Hut one, hut two-ya."

Hut one, hut two-ya…
Hut one, hut two-ya...
Hut one, hut two-ya...

[Willmark]

With apologies to Don McClean and American Pie (revised 11-2-25)

The Day the (Raiders) Football Died

A long, long time ago, I can still remember
How Raiders football used to make me smile
And I knew if the Raiders had one chance
That they could make the Broncos prance
And we’d be laughin’, beatin’ the Chiefs all the while

But football season made me shiver
With every loss the Raiders delivered
Bad news on the end-zone doorstep
The Raiders offense couldn’t take one more step
I can’t remember how our winning died
When I read about our wounded poise and pride
But on first down we ran straight inside
The day the football died

So, bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

Did you write playbooks without the shove?
And do you have faith in Lombardi above
If the offensive “game plan” tells you so?
Do you believe in the Holy roll(er)?
Can football save your mortal soul?
Can you teach me how to stop watchin’ this nightmarish show?

Well, I know that you're attached to them
'Cause we sure ain’t singing the Super Chargers hymn
Us diehard fans all kicked off our shoes
To watch the Raiders give us the blues
I was a lonely Raider fan outta buck(s)
With too many football frustrations — damn that Tuck!
But I knew we were out of luck
The day, the football died

I started singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

Now for forty years we’ve been on our own
And the losses grow fat on a rollin’ stone
But that’s not how it used to be
When the jackass coached for the dopey King
In a jersey he borrowed from Snake, you see
And an anguish that came from you and me

Oh, and while Mark Davis was lookin’ down
The jackass coach stole his Hooters crown
The meeting room was adjourned
No game plan was returned
And while McDaniels was lookin’ for a spark
The Raiders practiced in the park
And we sang Autumn Wind in the dark
The day the football died

We were singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

Lack of offense in the summer camp swelter
The fans ran lookin’ for some shelter
The silver fades, the losses last
Carr’s pass landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With Jimmy G on the sidelines in a cast

Now, the Immaculate “Deception” — NOT sweet perfume
While the League overplays that pathetic tune
We all got up to dance
Oh, Raider Nation never got the chance
'Cause the Raiders tried to take the field
The scoreboard refused to yield
Do you recall what The Sea of Hands revealed
The day, the football died

We started singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

Oh, and there the offense was, all in one place
A formation of wide receivers lost in space
With no time on the season left to start again
So come on, Jimmy G be nimble, Jimmy G be quick
Jimmy G couldn’t play for the 49ers in Candlestick
'Cause losses are the Raiders only friend

Oh, and as I watched the team on this stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No fandom born in Hell
Could break that Raiders spell
And as the losses climbed high into the night
To light the Al Davis sacrificial light
I saw the commissioner laughing with delight
The day, the football died

He was singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

I met a Raiderette who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the team’s store
Where I'd heard the Raiders were good before
But the man there said the Raiders couldn’t play

And in the streets, the season-ticket holders screamed
The fans cried and the hopeless dreamed
But not a snap count was spoken
The points on the scoreboard all were broken
And the three men I admire most
John Madden, Snake, and the Ghost to the Post
They caught the Madden Cruiser away from the coast
The day, the football died

And they were singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die,
This’ll be the game where we die.”

They were singin' bye-bye, Al Davis’ pride,
Drove my Chevy to the stadium, but the stadium was dry
And them good old Raider fans were drinkin’, whiskey and rye
Singin’, “This’ll be the game where we die.”

[raiders93]

Not about us but great parody that always cheers me up